Its been a week since I have been back home to Canberra from India...I had a great time at home, felt good there, felt at home...Home...I asked myself this question a lot of times but couldn't answer it, I refer to India as home but then I had to go back Home to Australia. I dont know what to call India. And I don't know what to call Australia...Which is a return journey, the going or the coming back? And that is not a dilemma that I face alone. Where is HOME? The first question to unearthing who you are...WHERE IS HOME?
Let me tell you a bit about my life in Calcutta (Kolkata, West Bengal, India), the place where I was born and grew up. I went to school there, was an irresponsible teenager, so never stressed out much about my future or career, both my parents happen to be successful in their own fields so knowledge and exposure was never a problem, be it foreign countries or interests or ideologies or technology. Then I went to High School and college there as well, now equipped with a bit of social skills I went about my college life, having fun and finding new interests every day. Still irresponsible...When the time came to decide on a career I was determined to do advertising or journalism. After getting admitted to college, I enjoyed what I studied...while hanging out with friends, football, cricket and parties...And finally when the question came about my career, I realised that even though I knew what I wanted to do, I did not have a plan. So in order to postpone the inevitable joining of the workforce I decided to take a vacation...do my masters abroad...
After I arrived in Australia I realised what the real education was. Its not just the academics but living alone. Managing funds, cooking, washing, dishes and finally working. Elaborating on the work, my first job was when I was in University, which also happened to be the most expensive University in Australia, as a dishey (read dish washer, kitchen hand). That job did wonders for my ego. Washing dirty plates of customer and tending to the whims of rich drunk customers...But it also taught me the value of money and material which a lot of us tend to take for granted. My parents did send me money every month, but the increasing exchange rate made me feel guilty especially when one time I spent a lot of the money on a birthday party, alcohol does very bad things to you...Hence I stuck to the job, with $13 to spend for the whole month,a job, any job is a necessity. Us Indian's are actually a very dedicated sort of people, whatever we do, we do it with a lot of sincerity. Hence eventually I started managing the restaurants...A long time later, after finishing Uni and couple of job changes later, I moved to Canberra. By this time I was quite focused about what I wanted out of life. By then I had met a girl and had a dog and cat together, which we had rescued. With a lot of hope and aspiration, we moved to Canberra, I was adamant that I wanted to be an advertising manager. Life sometimes plans something else for you. I got seven job offers after a week of applying. Real good for my ego, but still not quite the advertising manager. Another dog and three job changes later I went back HOME. After four years...and a lot of apprehension...I did not know what to expect. I had got used to the Australian way of life. Till then there was no question that Australia was home. I was a part of the work force and had made a life for myself. I was financially comfortable and had a good job which did not involve washing dishes. I was heading the management for a retail chain. But I was only going back for a vacation, to see my family, my Indian family, I was going back to get married to the girl I had met a long time back, the same girl...
What was India like? Well, mixed...new and old feelings were formed and churned up...When I first landed, mum, dad and sis after four year, was great. When I met them as I stepped out of the arrivals gate of the airport, it sunk it that everyone had grown older. But somehow, like good wine, everything had aged gracefully...The city itself is still the same, the same colonial hangover, the laid back attitude, the thing that has changed a lot is the traffic and the face of cars. The equality between the two strata of society has diminished drastically. It is not uncommon to see an Audi Q7 vehemently trying to pass a handpulled rickshaw. Anyway, that could be a topic of discussion for another day...
So what happened in India that made me question where I really want to belong? A lot of people I have met here in Australia have all wanted to live in Australia, very badly indeed. Some people I know have slogged for years and years, working two sometimes three jobs for fourteen hours everyday. And all this just cause they are either sponsored by their employer for a Permanent Residency visa or saving money so that they can study more so that they are eligible to live permanently in Australia...
After the hugs from my family came the pampering, the food and above everything else, the love and care which you can only experience if you have ever lived apart from your family and then gone back after a period of time. When I woke up in the morning I was given a choice of breakfast, poached eggs and sausages or cereals and coffee or...etc etc...In Australia, on a good day my breakfast is coffee and then work...Then comes the comfort, if you are rich in India you will have everything money can buy...We have an ancestral property in India, the village was named after my great great grandfather in the glory days. And we have a lot of agricultural land from which we hardly get any return. This is because of the lack of time and other commitments from our other family members. The investment required there is not just financial...Anyway, so being the eldest son of the house I have a hug opportunity to work there and make a million bucks...Everything that I have aspired to achieve in the future was there right in front of me. All I really wanted from life was to live with a bit of open space, have a money, but not the millionaire club, but enough to be comfortable and be able to buy anything that I really want. And I can have it there. Given a bit of time and hard work, I might make it, even to the millionaires club, maybe...But I do the hard work bit, but I am making money for someone else, sweating it out for someone else to join the millionaires club...I remember very clearly that a conversation my father had with another, where wrapping up the property and settling the business were mentioned, especially with the son settling abroad...So should that be my HOME?
I love Australia, love the lifestyle, love the way of life, love the open space, I have a set of dreams, goals, ambitions which I want to see realised...in Australia. And then I have a love India, love the warmth, love the comfort, love the sense of being near family, I have a set of dreams and goals for there as well which I want to see fulfilled...So there is my dilemma...and I echo the thought for a lot of people I know, living here...When we are international students, a foreign country seems like where life is. Then we stick to the plan and somehow stay on, and then when things slow down a little bit or sometimes speed up a lot, then we reflect and think what life would have been if we would have 'stuck to the plan' in our country of birth...
And I am still here...and I keep referring to Australia as here...
Where is your 'here'?
- Yours Truely
Let me tell you a bit about my life in Calcutta (Kolkata, West Bengal, India), the place where I was born and grew up. I went to school there, was an irresponsible teenager, so never stressed out much about my future or career, both my parents happen to be successful in their own fields so knowledge and exposure was never a problem, be it foreign countries or interests or ideologies or technology. Then I went to High School and college there as well, now equipped with a bit of social skills I went about my college life, having fun and finding new interests every day. Still irresponsible...When the time came to decide on a career I was determined to do advertising or journalism. After getting admitted to college, I enjoyed what I studied...while hanging out with friends, football, cricket and parties...And finally when the question came about my career, I realised that even though I knew what I wanted to do, I did not have a plan. So in order to postpone the inevitable joining of the workforce I decided to take a vacation...do my masters abroad...
After I arrived in Australia I realised what the real education was. Its not just the academics but living alone. Managing funds, cooking, washing, dishes and finally working. Elaborating on the work, my first job was when I was in University, which also happened to be the most expensive University in Australia, as a dishey (read dish washer, kitchen hand). That job did wonders for my ego. Washing dirty plates of customer and tending to the whims of rich drunk customers...But it also taught me the value of money and material which a lot of us tend to take for granted. My parents did send me money every month, but the increasing exchange rate made me feel guilty especially when one time I spent a lot of the money on a birthday party, alcohol does very bad things to you...Hence I stuck to the job, with $13 to spend for the whole month,a job, any job is a necessity. Us Indian's are actually a very dedicated sort of people, whatever we do, we do it with a lot of sincerity. Hence eventually I started managing the restaurants...A long time later, after finishing Uni and couple of job changes later, I moved to Canberra. By this time I was quite focused about what I wanted out of life. By then I had met a girl and had a dog and cat together, which we had rescued. With a lot of hope and aspiration, we moved to Canberra, I was adamant that I wanted to be an advertising manager. Life sometimes plans something else for you. I got seven job offers after a week of applying. Real good for my ego, but still not quite the advertising manager. Another dog and three job changes later I went back HOME. After four years...and a lot of apprehension...I did not know what to expect. I had got used to the Australian way of life. Till then there was no question that Australia was home. I was a part of the work force and had made a life for myself. I was financially comfortable and had a good job which did not involve washing dishes. I was heading the management for a retail chain. But I was only going back for a vacation, to see my family, my Indian family, I was going back to get married to the girl I had met a long time back, the same girl...
What was India like? Well, mixed...new and old feelings were formed and churned up...When I first landed, mum, dad and sis after four year, was great. When I met them as I stepped out of the arrivals gate of the airport, it sunk it that everyone had grown older. But somehow, like good wine, everything had aged gracefully...The city itself is still the same, the same colonial hangover, the laid back attitude, the thing that has changed a lot is the traffic and the face of cars. The equality between the two strata of society has diminished drastically. It is not uncommon to see an Audi Q7 vehemently trying to pass a handpulled rickshaw. Anyway, that could be a topic of discussion for another day...
So what happened in India that made me question where I really want to belong? A lot of people I have met here in Australia have all wanted to live in Australia, very badly indeed. Some people I know have slogged for years and years, working two sometimes three jobs for fourteen hours everyday. And all this just cause they are either sponsored by their employer for a Permanent Residency visa or saving money so that they can study more so that they are eligible to live permanently in Australia...
After the hugs from my family came the pampering, the food and above everything else, the love and care which you can only experience if you have ever lived apart from your family and then gone back after a period of time. When I woke up in the morning I was given a choice of breakfast, poached eggs and sausages or cereals and coffee or...etc etc...In Australia, on a good day my breakfast is coffee and then work...Then comes the comfort, if you are rich in India you will have everything money can buy...We have an ancestral property in India, the village was named after my great great grandfather in the glory days. And we have a lot of agricultural land from which we hardly get any return. This is because of the lack of time and other commitments from our other family members. The investment required there is not just financial...Anyway, so being the eldest son of the house I have a hug opportunity to work there and make a million bucks...Everything that I have aspired to achieve in the future was there right in front of me. All I really wanted from life was to live with a bit of open space, have a money, but not the millionaire club, but enough to be comfortable and be able to buy anything that I really want. And I can have it there. Given a bit of time and hard work, I might make it, even to the millionaires club, maybe...But I do the hard work bit, but I am making money for someone else, sweating it out for someone else to join the millionaires club...I remember very clearly that a conversation my father had with another, where wrapping up the property and settling the business were mentioned, especially with the son settling abroad...So should that be my HOME?
I love Australia, love the lifestyle, love the way of life, love the open space, I have a set of dreams, goals, ambitions which I want to see realised...in Australia. And then I have a love India, love the warmth, love the comfort, love the sense of being near family, I have a set of dreams and goals for there as well which I want to see fulfilled...So there is my dilemma...and I echo the thought for a lot of people I know, living here...When we are international students, a foreign country seems like where life is. Then we stick to the plan and somehow stay on, and then when things slow down a little bit or sometimes speed up a lot, then we reflect and think what life would have been if we would have 'stuck to the plan' in our country of birth...
And I am still here...and I keep referring to Australia as here...
Where is your 'here'?
- Yours Truely
Nice one Adi. A question I ask myself on a regular basis and still remains unanswered everytime!!
ReplyDeleteI think home is where the heart is. But does it necessarily have to be a particular place? What is home? A place where you would like to come back every day, a place where there is love, laughter, peace and happiness, a place where your loved ones are happy to be...also a place where you share your pain, your sorrows as well as your happiness.And most importantly, a place where you can be you, where you have a space of your own. So how does it matter whether it is India or Australia...its where you are happy.
ReplyDeleteVery well written...and I agree that home is where the heart is...probably going back to India would always feel special because of the warmth of the people and the place...had we not been 'here' we wouldnt have fallen in love with australia or india...home is where loved ones are and the one u make...for me its both...i feel good and happy when im at home be it india or australia...one we have and always will and the one we made...:)
ReplyDeleteHome...for all of us who are 'at home' in more than one place,there is no simple answer...two cities in two parts of the world, one in which I have grown up and one which has made me a grown up, one where the most important people in my life (barring two stays) and the other where I have realized the importance of them in my life. So where do we belong? It's a question that I have stopped asking myself but I know when I finally make the choice a part of me will be left behind in the place I leave behind...
ReplyDelete